Who do you think you are?

by Starla J. King on May 18, 2011

How well do you really know yourself? 

Sure, you know what colors you like (deep orange), what clothes you feel best in (jeans,boots, tshirt), what food you’d drive 100 miles for (pizza or baked goods)… but what about the deep down delicious gooey-centered core of yourself? 

What (not who) do you love so much that it makes you weep?

What do you fear so much that it creeps into your dreams when your resistance is low?

What do you want so very badly that you don’t even have the words to describe the longing?

What makes you laugh so hard — every time — that you can’t catch your breath?

What feels like home?

Hmm…  Well…  Umm…  Yeah. 

It’s ok — I didn’t used to know (?!?) those things about myself either.

And I can tell you from experience that getting to know you is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself (and those around you).


Because when you know yourself, you give yourself room to shine.  And when you give yourself room to shine, you stop trying to borrow (or steal) the shine from someone else.

That level of self-exploration often requires a tour guide, a trained professional who can carry your headlamp, and hand you the pick-axe during your deep-down excavational digs. 

I recommend a business and/or life coach.  Like, highly highly highly recommend.  Like, if you’ve even for one moment considered going deeper, exploring more, finding your clarity — that kind of  recommend.

And no, I’m not a biz/life coach.  I just play one on tv.  🙂   I have extensive change agent (MS in Org. Learning) and some biz/life coach training (ORSC Fundamentals), but this blog post comes primarily from my own experience of HAVING a biz/life coach (Nancy Duncan through Big Fish Nation) since early 2009. 

Coaching has helped me open beautiful internal double-french doors to a new realm of strength, confidence and possibility well beyond what I would have reached on my own.      

Coaching has given me the gift of getting to know myself,

the self that sat for so many years in the corner writing quietly, privately, because I never gave my Highest Dreams a chance.  Until coaching.  

And now I have OutWrite Living… and two public blogs (this one and Starla’s Word Stew) … and am making a living using words and writing to help others shine. 

That, my dears, is what can happen when you get to know yourself.

If you want to know more, I’m part of a FREE call Thursday, May 19, through Big Fish Nation about “The Power of Having a Coach in Your Corner.”  You are ALL welcome to join the call!   

Whether or not you think coaching is for you, however, I offer you this poem by Derek Walcott to possibly spark your interest in looking into some — ANY — steps into self-discovery:   

Love After Love by Derek Walcott 

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. 

So, who do you think you are… in those moments when you “with elation … greet yourself arriving at your own door…” and “give your heart back to yourself”?    Double that, no… triple …quadruple … gazillion-uple it … and you’ll touch a glimmer of the unbelievably incredible shine you really are.

 Get to know yourself — I can’t wait to see your shine! 

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