My Little Gay Wedding

by Starla J. King on June 17, 2014

“We hereby certify, that on the 14th day of June two thousand and 14 we united ourselves in marriage, at Philadelphia, in the County of Philadelphia, having first obtained from the Clerk of the Orphans’ Court Division of the Court of Common Pleas of said County a declaration that he was satisfied that there was no existing legal impediment to our so doing.”

[my partner of 17+ years]

25 years ago, I knew without a doubt that I’d keep my little gay secret forever.  Last weekend I legally married the love of my life (a woman) — publicly. oops. If that cat wasn’t out of the bag before, it sure is now.

Legally married

But I assure you, it was no mistake.

It took tens of thousands of people fighting for equality, year after year, disappointment after disappointment, hope against sometimes no hope.

It took reputations, relationships, jobs, and even lives risked.

It took the people who turned away because this version of love didn’t fit their paradigm, and the people who carried us proudly on their shoulders, and everyone in-between.

thanks for coming out buttonIt took the bravery of each gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, heterosexual, and any-other-kind-of-sexual person who has come out, in any way, to anyone, for any reason.

It took the examples of all others who have stepped from oppression to freedom throughout all of history (and future).

It took the government of one state, then another, then another, to nudge Pennsylvania to withdraw the gay marriage ban… without appeal.

It took pondering with other gay couples about how to add legal marriage to previous commitment ceremonies without diminishing either one.

It took 2 cats being of absolutely no help whatsoever.

It took my brother, his wife, my parents-in-law, and thLove Winse Universe as witnesses, and a powerful little cake pronouncing “Love Wins” .

It took a village.

Thank you, dear village, for your part in our wedding.

Love won this one.  Love won this one

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Nancy June 17, 2014 at 12:10 pm

Sniff, LMAO, profound, poignant and powerfully well said! Thank you Starla.
And of course…. WOOHOO Congrats!


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 2:46 pm

NjD, your part in my village has been so very important! Here’s an espresso *clink* of celebration! 🙂


Joy June 17, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Congratulations! My wish for you is that you have the happily-ever-after that every bride deserves. And may your two cats continue to do nothing as lo g as they see fit :). Keep writing Starla, its well worth the reading.


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 2:47 pm

Joy, so far your wish is playing out perfectly. And.. .sigh… yes, the cats, the cats. I shall keep writing. Thank you!


Michelle Cohen June 17, 2014 at 12:18 pm

Simply beautiful! Wishing you a most spectacular life together.


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 2:48 pm

Michelle, it’s so good to see you here! Thank you for your kind words of support — for the writing and the relationship.


Janet Blum June 17, 2014 at 1:25 pm

Bravo!! I’m so happy for you both. You’ve waited entirely too long.


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 2:49 pm

Janet, it finally happened! YAHOO!


Glenda Landis June 17, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Best Wishes to You!!
I met you at Kristy’s baby shower.
(Janet Blum’s mom)


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Glenda, hello again dear woman! Thank you so much for the good wishes; these are exciting times indeed.


Dawn June 17, 2014 at 4:45 pm

YES, Starla (& Sandy) love wins!


Starla J. King June 17, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Dawn, Hear hear!!


Rickey June 21, 2014 at 2:47 pm

Fran sent this to me. My husband and I were married on June 14th, 1958 and just celebrated our 56thwedding anniversary. May June 14th bring you the joy and love we have shared for 56 years. Here’s to you and your loving partner in life. May the sun always shine for you and the moon bring you healing rest.


Starla J. King June 23, 2014 at 12:02 pm

Rickey, what a beautiful beautiful comment! I read it out loud to my wife (!!) and sister and we all melted. It’s an honor to share June 14 with you and your husband. Thank you for this gift of showing us proof of longevity. To love!
Starla j.


Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: